Rivets, we are not talking about electromagnetic wave theory, though we could if you would like to, but rather voltage and current confined to a physical medium.
1- A wave is a wave. Sound, light or electromagnetic. The interference phenomenon applies equally. You can't change the physics of it.
If you take your meter and look the the leads, they are red and black to represent (+) and (-) respectively.
2- They could be any color. (+) and (-) are irrelevant in AC measurements.
This means that when a meter measures voltage across any component, or line pair, that the voltage measured at the black lead is subtracted from the voltage measured at the red lead.
So 120 VAC - (+) 120 VAC (two in phase voltages) = 0 VAC
120 VAC - (-) 120 VAC (two 180 degree out of phase voltages) = 240 VAC
Do an experiment for me: Go to any two outlets that are on the same branch and measure the voltage across both hot legs. What value do you get? If the voltages are on the same branch, they must be the same phase...
Have fun and tell me what happens...
3- No need to do the experiment. The answer is zero volts of course.
Not because the voltages are in phase, but because you are attempting to measure a voltage by putting your two meter probes on one bus bar.